There has been much controversy over the years on the subject of how a woman should dress in public. Of course the answer should be, and is, wear what you like, as long as it is not breaking any laws.
In 2011 in Toronto, Canada, a city police officer caused uproar when he said that, "Women should avoid dressing like sluts," so as not to encourage sexual assault. This crass comment, whether taken out of context or not, seemed to shift the blame for sexual assault from the perpetrator to the victim. This comment and the connotations behind it enraged many, and the first 'SlutWalk' was organised as a protest against this stance. After the first one held in Toronto, SlutWalks were repeated all over the world, with women taking to the streets, many dressed provocatively, to emphasise the point that the victim is not to blame, no matter how they are dressed.
With regard to the heinous crime of rape, it is to be remembered that both women and men can be raped, although, because of the stigma attached to it, men rarely make a formal complaint.
Rape has nothing to do with sex or making love; it is all about power, humiliation and domination over an individual. Rapists use penetration as the ultimate control. Clothing has nothing to do with it. If that were the case, how do you account for the rape of elderly women in their 80's and 90's? Provocative, or 'sexy', clothing is not the primary driver of the would be rapist. You are more likely to be raped while wearing a pair of jogging pants and a T-Shirt, than a basque and suspenders.
According to UK police statistics, a very small proportion of rapes are carried out by strangers in random attacks. The majority of rapists are known, in some way, to their victims. However, many rapes go unreported or are often reported many years later, sometimes leading to historical cases being resurrected and prosecuted through the Courts. The police have come a long way in the manner with which they deal with rape victims. No longer are victims interviewed in the stark surroundings of a police station; they are taken to a 'soft suite' away from the premises. Specially trained officers and forensic staff are used in an effort to make the experience as least painful and traumatic as they can.
Every night, and especially the weekends, we women are pouring onto the streets with a view to enjoying ourselves. Many are dressed in a way that some people might think provocative. That is our right. However there is a BUT....please be aware that some (usually) males, because of their under developed brains, and their thoughts emanating from their genitalia, may see a scantily-clad female as 'fair game' and 'gagging for it'. So be on the alert for pests, drawn to you like a moth to a flame. We have all heard the corny chat up lines and most of us are equipped with witty put-downs or firm brush offs.
When I was a Police motorcyclist I was often positioned near the exit to nighclubs at closing time. I saw many sex pests approaching women randomly and trying their luck. Often they would be drawn to the woman who were slightly unsteady on their feet, walking on their own and inevitably in high heels and what the neanderthal would deem 'sexy' clothing. They would be quite brazen about asking these girls back to their's for sex. Mostly they would be told to 'go away', although less politely, but on some occasions they would snare their prey; not looking to rape them, but looking for sex.
I was once on the enquiry desk at Police Headquarters at 3am one February morning when a girl walked into the station, bare foot, and wearing just a man's shirt. She looked dishevelled and we feared the worst. However, she told us that she had been picked up in a nightclub by a man (she had no clue as to his name, not even his first name), taken back to his room in a lodging house and they had engaged in consensual sexual intercourse. After the guy had fallen asleep, she left the room naked, to use the communal bathroom on the landing. When she returned to his room, she found that the wind had blown it shut. Finding it locked she tried to wake her companion, but to no avail. Going back into the bathroom, she found an old man's shirt stuffed behind the toilet cistern and that was what she was wearing when she entered the police station.
She was unable to tell us the address or even describe the street. What she did say was that she had walked for twenty minutes before finding us. We took her with us and drove around bedsit land for over an hour but she did not recognise any of the buildings. In the end we took her back to the hotel she was working and living in. A disturbing story of modern day dating.
This would normally lead on to the difficult subject of when consent to sex is withdrawn, often known as date rape. We will cover this on a different blog posting.
The best defence to unwanted attention, and you cannot always avoid it, is awareness of your surroundings and a planned evening.
REMEMBER GIRLS (and GUYS): WEAR WHAT YOU LIKE and NO ALWAYS MEANS NO !
BUT BE AWARE OF WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU.
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